Geez...what did marriage ever do to the culture????

Can one person change the perception of marriage???

If you’ve had a conversation with me lately you have probably picked up on my disdain for the way the culture views marriage. Almost every movie or show we see depicts marriage as a dull, droning, monotonous life that is really just a slow death. In every comedy or sitcom the husband is a bumbling spineless clueless goof who can’t get things right to save his life, and the wife is a nagging irritated bully that takes cheap shots at her husband every time he speaks. In almost every drama the married couple is bored, unsatisfied, and discontented. Incessantly longing and looking for the greener grass. Marriage, in both the comedy and drama, equals a sexless, communication deficient merger. There is never any deliberate effort taken to cultivate and encourage the relationship. Then dissatisfaction, frustration, and disappointment set in. At this point husbands begin to seek out "approval and validation" and the wives set out in search of "passion and happiness." Please don’t misunderstand my issue. The shows that utilize these formulas, in and of themselves, aren’t bad. They tend to be pretty entertaining for the most part. The problems arise when our reality begins to merge with what is made-up, and our lives begin to replicate these fictional story lines. When this happens our kids no longer have a genuine model of what a healthy and happy marriage/relationship even looks like.

• How can we expect our sons and daughters to look forward to being married?
• How can they know what a great marriage looks like when the adults in their lives can’t properly identify it, let alone live it out in their everyday lives?

So what are some practical and constructive things that we all can implement into our everyday lives to further my mission to change the perception of marriage?

1. Know Love. You can’t give love unless you understand it, and you can’t fully understand it until you recognize and comprehend just how much God loves you.

2. Surround yourself with friends who are committed to building up their husbands rather than tearing them down. This may be hard at first but you have to be purposeful.Remember why you married him and focus on the positives.

3. Praise his attributes every chance you get. Especially in front of your kids and your friends.Don’t fake it.

4. Flirt with your husband. It keeps things fun and breaks up any monotony you both may be feeling. It reminds you (and him) of what life was like, in the beginning, when you both were in pursuit of each other. It will affirm your love for your husband and let him know that you would still choose him ;-)

5. Daydream about being alone with your husband. This will help to replace any negative tapes that may be running through your brain. Remember that sex is a gift from God to be celebrated in marriage. It is a physical representation of intimacy. This aspect of your marriage should never be neglected. Meet your husband’s needs and you will cultivate a loyalty and appreciation, and you’ll be surprised how little he cares about the little annoyances that arise.

To be continued :-)

Okay... now what???

Alright, you've read my last post and the light bulb appeared above your head. Or maybe you were already thinking the same thing and now your glad you're not alone... either way, now your like okay I get it... I've been improperly conditioned and I acknowledge that... Sooooo how do I go about embracing this new mindset????? First let me go ahead break the news to you, you might feel REAL silly at first… probably even a little awkward. But with that out of the way we can proceed :-) I promise the pay off will be sooooo worth it!

Okay, so I have like a bazillion ideas that I'm certain will appear in upcoming posts, but I'll start with one that has worked consistently for the wives that I've met on my journey. This will initially sound like something you've heard your whole life so you have to promise to read it all the way through… promise????

Alright…

EXERCISE (I said you wouldn't be surprised but keep reading... you promised.)

Now I’m not talking about Jane Fonda tapes and sweatin’ to the oldies. I’m talking about adding some spice to your workout. I’m talking about a form of exercise you can actually learn with a group of your friends in the comfort of your own home… no seriously. I've done this with much success and know many ladies that will testify to its effectiveness ;-)

Brace for it...

...Pole Party... yes you read it correctly... P-O-L-E... pole. Now before you check out... let me finish. This has got to be one of the most effective and entertaining ways to get in touch with your inner sex kitten. Which is exactly what we all wanna be for our husbands, right?? The key is to make certain that you plan it with a group of wives that you know and trust. This way you can encourage each other with the understanding that you all are taking steps to strengthen your marriage. One of the most valuable things you take away from this get together is a better understanding of your body and the way it moves. You also leave with a new sense of confidence and self esteem. You feel empowered and energized. It's also a phenomenal workout. You'll burn calories, increase flexibility, and build muscle strength. Don't forget all the laughing you'll do with your friends.

Hahaha… I was starting to sound like a commercial… sorry bout that... anyway… I started doing pole fitness about a year and a half ago. It is the only workout (EVER) that I have absolutely LOVED doing and always look forward to my next workout. It has not only improved my health, it has definitely spiced up my marriage. I've led so many pole parties and every single time the women are so happy that they came. They always have great stories about taking what they've learned back home to their husbands. I've even given one-on-one lessons to ladies who weren't quite comfortable with a group setting. I've worked with wives and brides-to-be on individual routines for honeymoons, anniversaries, or special occasions. I truly believe every woman should experience it. I figure, not everyone has access to a pole... I do... so why not use it to contribute to a cause that is close to my heart... strengthening marriages!!

When you do this form of workout you begin to see your body differently. You appreciate the strength and support that your body provides and you're able to see the positives and focus less on the negatives. You become proud of your body and all that it's capable of. The payoff is two fold… you gain the benefit of traditional exercise(increased energy, calorie burn, muscle tone etc.) and at the same time you are lighting a serious fire under your libido. It's like exercise multi tasking LOL ;-)