So many women just want their husband to have psychic powers that will magically tell them what you are thinking... Are we delusional much haha??? I find myself in this state of mind a lot... but I digress...
In all seriousness we have to consider the reality... if our husbands received any sex education at all (and for the most part they didn't receive ANY) it was a meager substitute for what God had planned for us.
I hear so many women say that they are too intimidated and embarrassed to talk about sex to their husbands. For many it is the fear of being laughed at, and for others it is the fear that communicating desires will make her husband feel inadequate.
So we stay silent, and over time we get frustrated, discouraged, and ultimately disconnected when our unexpressed expectations aren't fulfilled. These fears breed resentment and rejection which seeps into every aspect of our marriage. As all of this is intensifying in our minds and ultimately solidifying in our hearts, our husbands are entirely unaware. This deficit in communication debilitates and depresses the intimacy that God has created for your marriage.
So if you want a husband that is intimately in tune with you and your body you MUST face and conquer all the fears that your mind has accepted as truths. You owe it to yourself and to your marriage to express to your husband exactly what you need and want from him. Take a step out of your comfort zone and see what God has for your marriage on the other side of it. So here is your homework... bet you never thought you would be assigned homework from a blog huh??... Over the course of the next few days, communicate just one need or desire to your husband... It doesn't have to be every single desire you've ever thought of in your whole entire life LOL!
Just ONE... and remember some of the most intimate kinds of communication can be non verbal... be creative... you can thank me later... but please... keep the details to a minimum LOL!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Investing in Neglect...
We all invest our time, efforts, and energy into something... kids, jobs, house, friends... It seems as life happens, our husband moves further and further down the list of priorities, and as responsibilities stack, we just assume he knows how much we appreciate him and since he vowed to love us he should just understand. As marriages continue to crumble and fall it is painfully obvious that neglect can be a dangerous and silent killer...
The cure for neglect??? Acknowledgment and attention...
Give acknowledgment and attention to what is important to your husband. I probably don't need to tell you that sex is often #1 on a husbands most wanted list. This unfortunately makes many wives cringe or shrug cuz they don't understand it.
I think, many times, our perspective just needs a little tweaking ;)
When you vow to invest your time, efforts, and energy into your husbands need for physical intimacy you are making a declaration of love, encouragement, and assurance that awakens his spirit, breathes life into his soul, and rejuvenates his body. Who wouldn't want to do that for someone they love???
Here's the exciting news... this is not a one sided benefit. As you focus on meeting his physical needs you are emotionally connecting with your husband in a uniquely God given way. In fact this is a privilege that is entirely yours. When you consider this, the act of sex becomes so much more than just something "to get through" so you can get started on the laundry. You will find yourself captivated, and the idea of "two becoming one" becomes an unmistakable reality. What a beautiful concept that you two are the only people on earth who have permission to connect with each other in this exceptional way. God takes joy in the value you put on His unique gift.
So this doesn't simply happen. It takes pursuit and intent to create an environment where your connection can mature. Take the necessary steps to reclaim the intimacy in your marriage!
The cure for neglect??? Acknowledgment and attention...
Give acknowledgment and attention to what is important to your husband. I probably don't need to tell you that sex is often #1 on a husbands most wanted list. This unfortunately makes many wives cringe or shrug cuz they don't understand it.
I think, many times, our perspective just needs a little tweaking ;)
When you vow to invest your time, efforts, and energy into your husbands need for physical intimacy you are making a declaration of love, encouragement, and assurance that awakens his spirit, breathes life into his soul, and rejuvenates his body. Who wouldn't want to do that for someone they love???
Here's the exciting news... this is not a one sided benefit. As you focus on meeting his physical needs you are emotionally connecting with your husband in a uniquely God given way. In fact this is a privilege that is entirely yours. When you consider this, the act of sex becomes so much more than just something "to get through" so you can get started on the laundry. You will find yourself captivated, and the idea of "two becoming one" becomes an unmistakable reality. What a beautiful concept that you two are the only people on earth who have permission to connect with each other in this exceptional way. God takes joy in the value you put on His unique gift.
So this doesn't simply happen. It takes pursuit and intent to create an environment where your connection can mature. Take the necessary steps to reclaim the intimacy in your marriage!
- Pray desire into your marriage. God will absolutely grant a desire in your heart for intimacy with your husband. He wants this for your marriage.
- Speak desire into your marriage. The things we say play a huge roll into how actions are manifested in our life. If we say... "Ugh I guess I better do this and get it over with" then most likely it will be an ugly experience but if we say "I can't wait to meet my husband right where he needs me and experience all God has for us" then God will bless you with an adventure like you have never experienced.
- Think desire into your marriage. Day dream about your husband. Not just halfhearted thoughts but purposeful and stimulating contemplation. Think about how you feel when he touches you or whispers in your ear. Once your brain has checked in, your body will quickly follow.
- Communicate desire to your husband. Tell him you want him. That you desire to be with him. Text him and tell him you can't wait to see him. Leave sexy notes on the bathroom mirror. Not only will this encourage him but you are creating a new dialogue for your marriage.
- Have fun!!! When you get a gift for your birthday you unwrap it as fast as you can so you can play with it... well God has given you a one of a kind gift that is created especially for you and your husband to share. Honor it, cultivate it, delight in it and watch God transform your marriage.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)